Hello, crew, friends, family, readers.
I will now answer to the things that have interested me lately through my stay in the illustrious city of Chang Mai, Thailand. More than any other place in Asia, I have seen a far greater amount of Caucasian people, Europeans, Americans, Australians, and the like. We are not viewed with the same type of ‘celebrity’ or ‘alien-like’ status as has been the case in the other SE Asian countries. One of the strangest observations, to me, is seeing the (many!) culturally intermixed couples where an older, Caucasian man is in relations with a young, beautiful Thai woman. To add more context, I will state the moment where a young Thai woman asked me (half jokingly, albeit half seriously) that she wanted to come to Canada with me to be my wife. It seems to actually be the case that Thai women will be much more inclined to marry a non Thai, and instead European or American men.
I learned about the different Thai customs in marriage, where there is more emphasis for the Thai woman to act in service to her husband. My homestay father told me: “when a European man comes here to find a wife, he knows that he will get A) a wife B) a maid, and C) a nurse, all in one”. In contrast to this, in America and Europe it seems there is more emphasis on male chivalry (and, perhaps the notion that man and wife serve each other by equal measure – keeping a stable balance). However, given these things about Thai marriage customs, it makes perfect sense that a Thai woman would want a marriage that is culturally intermixed, likely as a liberation from these customs.
So, not only would she not feel compelled to abide by these customs, but she might find a man that acts in chivalry and in service to her instead, AND, it might be the case that he has a lot of money in his pockets. This also works in favor for the old American man who has experienced divorce and can then find a chance for love (can I call it ‘love’?) with a younger woman.
With this whole picture, I am left with mixed feelings, and am not exactly sure what to think. With all the variables at hand, what type of moral judgments am I to make? Perhaps there is nothing wrong with the old white man to desire a second chance at romance here in Thailand? (What would I do as an old, lonely man with no wife at his side?) Though, is this really the right type of liberation for the Thai woman? … ahem. Let’s step back for a moment. Why am I so interested in this? I don’t know. But it is plainly interesting. In any case, I do not mean this as a staunch critique of the Thai culture in general, as there have clearly been many, many things that I have come to appreciate with great depth, as well.
On a completely different note, from the Buddhist monks, I have grasped great treasures in learning about their methods of meditation. I will be sure to use them as a means of both relaxation and clarity of mind, even when I exit Asia and enter back into Canadian life. I am grateful for this, alone.
The adventure is almost over. How will I reflect on all that has happened in the spaces that come when I return home? How will I notice the changes within myself? Only time will tell. I look towards the future as a person who has gained treasures, who has truly learned and experienced, and who will – beyond any doubt – never be the same.
Joel