Author Archives: nadyapohran

Seven Seconds

December 10, 2010 – 10:34 pm
By nadyapohran | Posted in 2010 Comments (0)

On October 8th, three days before leaving Canada for South East Asia, I wrote in my journal: “I am leaving for South East Asia in three days. Above all else, I am determined to not put this trip within a “box.” I do not want to limit my experiences, nor do I want to categorize a multi-faceted excursion by one single experience–as good, as bad, or as ugly as it may be. This trip seems like a crystal prism to me: so many sides you can look through; so many ways to reflect the light, creating different results from the same source.”

I was reminded of this promise to myself at several points throughout the trip, as some moments were indeed “good”, others “bad,” and still others were quite “ugly.” There were times, such as in the hilltribes, were it was all I could do to not repeat the words over and over again: “I LOVE it here! I LOVE it, I LOVE it, I LOVE it here,” sleeping under the stars, bathing with fresh stream water, and eating off of the food provided by local land. And there were times (I won’t get into specifics for this one) where I, in all my dramatic aires, was determined that life could not possibly get any worse than it was at that exact moment….(and then it did. Ah, so great.)

Still, there were times where I had no idea what was happening, and it was perhaps during those moments that I experienced a glimpse of what pilgrimage was; entertaining questions like “where am I going? What is the journey’s end? How long will it take? How long will we stay for? ….Should I have brought toilet paper?” Questions of all varieties, importances, and significance filled my mind and yet I simultaneously knew they could not be immediately answered. ??And now I’m back in Canada. And it’s cold. And I can understand people when they speak, and they can understand me. And…excuse me??? There are toilets and toilet paper and the toilet flushes and I can actually flush the toilet paper??!?! And there are bathtubs and lots of Caucasians and there is good peanut butter!! And lentils!!!!!!!!! And pizza!!!!!!!!! Pizza that doesn’t give you food poisoning, even!!!!!! Ahem. Pardon me. *Composing myself.* What I mean to say is this: coming back to Canada had felt like re-entering a strange dream; the people and places and activities are all vaguely familiar and yet there is an eerie quality to near-everything.

Meanwhile everyone (yes, that’s right, everyone!!!) I reunite with has asked me “How was your trip?” as if I could answer them in the seven-odd seconds allocated in the West before it seems awkward to still be standing around not doing something productive. And I know I can’t really answer that question without taking at least an hour, and wouldn’t even be able to answer it fully if given a day, so I choose to give the most truthful of answers I can provide when given seven seconds to do so: It was life-changing (here, I pause for dramatic affect as well as to push the 7-second limit) and I can’t wait to go back.

Nadya

A Prayer for our Traveling Community

November 18, 2010 – 12:15 pm
By nadyapohran | Posted in 2010 Comments (0)

As we near the end of our journey, I think most of us find ourselves acting differently than we anticipated being, and perhaps differently than we would like to be. Some are more easily irritable than we’d be under different circumstances; some miss our home in Canada or America; some of us find tears filling our eyes without explanation; some fight unceasingly against being overridden by anxiety or depression; some want to escape to the security of our bedroom and some of us want to escape to the adventure of the unknown. And yet we aim to exist as a community (not merely as a group of individuals) who walk alongside God in the midst of our present circumstance, no matter the circumstance.

So, with this knowledge in mind, I would  invite you to join me in my prayer for our community:

Our Father, as we continue to make our way through Your world, may You illumine our path, keep us from danger, and make smooth our every step.
You calm the raging wind and settle the waters: be a calming presence in our lives.
You hold Your hands out to us, inviting us to walk onward: be continually prompting and asking us to move closer to Your arms.
When we are weak, You are still strong.

Though we are at times irritable, easily-angered, anxious, and saddened, You offer grace and peace that surpasses understanding: be our source, Lord God. Be our well-spring; our ever-lasting fountain.You know the state of our hearts: the burdens we carry; the grief we attempt to hide; our incomplete joy.
We do not hide any of this from You, though we may try.
Align our hearts with Your will, make our desires one with Yours.

Your will, not ours be done.
Amen.

Sawadii kha,
Nadya

I left my heart in ….Laoag city???!?

November 3, 2010 – 12:52 am
By nadyapohran | Posted in 2010 Comments (0)

Preparing for my SE Asia trip awhile ago, I had a vague idea of what I expected this trip to be like. I did not have any specific expectations of what would happen during every moment of every day, but I anticipated to experience a variety of cultures, taste some different food, visit some historical sites, learn some language…you know, the usual travel stuff. I did not expect to be emotionally attached to anyone I got to know nor anything I experienced. I’m not quite sure why I didn’t anticipate such a thing…I need only to take a brief moment to glance at my personal history to recognize how easily and quickly my emotional attachments form to both people and things…but for some reason I did not expect to experience such a thing on this trip.

However, upon merely arriving in the airport of the Philippines, I began to sense a strange sort of immediate attachment to the country and to the people who live there. This kind of unjustified attachment has happened a few other times in my life, and in each case I have later grown to possess several justifiable reasons for why such a strong attachment exists: I discovered tangible reasons for my emotional attachment only after the initial unexplainable attachment had began. It was this way with the Philippines.

Several days after arriving in the Philippines–and, several days after my initial attachment to the place started– I began to meet people and experience aspects of the culture that not only took my breath away but also took a portion of my heart. Getting to know our Filipino friends and guides, my homestay family, some university students, and some young Filipino children (who I hung out with only for a day at a time) I became quite emotionally attached to the people of the Philippines.
Additionally, getting to see heritage sites such as Paoay church, beautiful environments such as the botanical gardens and beaches,  I became quite emotionally attached to the physical place of the Philippines, and leaving it was not easy.

I am now in Malaysia: eating spicy and delicious food, trying new things, seeing new sites, learning about an entirely different and fascinating culture, and meeting new people — all wonderful experiences. And yet I do not feel fully here–as if a portion of my mind and heart still lingers in the Philippines. Perhaps you can understand this, for I think that many (if not all) people have undergone the difficult experience of leaving/losing someone or something to which they feel emotionally attached. It’s a journey.

Peace,
Nadya

p.s. I do plan on returning to the Philippines in the near-future, perhaps to teach, Lord willing…prayers appreciated.

The Filipino Poverty Gap

October 19, 2010 – 10:56 am
By nadyapohran | Posted in 2010 Comments (1)

There is so much I could say in this entry, but I’ve decided to focus this particular post on a very prevalent aspect of Filipino culture: the poverty gap between the rich and the poor. It may not sound like the most interesting or fascinating of subjects, but it is something that has continually impacted me quite personally throughout the last week or so that I have been in the Philippines because it is so interconnected: you see sticks tied together for foundations; cardboard billboards folded over top for a roof…and three blocks down you see a public auditorium in all of its glory. This poverty “gap” is immense, and it is everywhere.

Before I continue, here are some facts for you to have in the back of your brain: – The Philippines has a population of over 92 million people – The Philippines’ wealth is controlled by 6% of the people, leaving 94% of the people below the poverty line. At first, I wondered where these 94% were existing, as the places in which we were staying seemed fairly well-off in terms of finance and general contentness. However, as we drove away from Manila, I saw a seemingly-endless number of slums filled with children and adults alike–more people than I ever thought could live in such a small space. And it was while passing these slums that I began to notice one drastic difference between the rich and the poor: the poorest of the poor cared little or nothing about our presence.

You see, to the middle-class, our group seems to exist somewhat like celebrities: we smile and wave to a Filipino, and we make that person’s day (This is likely due partly to a belief of status-increase which I won’t get into in this post.) And I feel torn by that ability…I don’t feel as if I deserve the right to make someone’s day merely because I am a foreigner who can smile and wave from a tour bus. But, in some of the poorest slums that we passed by on our drive to Laoag, the children and adults merely stared at us as we passed: no smiles, no waves. I tried smiling and waving and found my attempts of exchanging happiness to be stopped by hopelessness. It was as if they recognised that our mere presence meant nothing: we could not change their situation of extreme poverty, and so they cared little for our wave or our smiles. This broke my heart because I feel as if everyone ought to be able to smile.

And, while we passed slum upon slum filled with person upon person who all blurred together at times in my mind, there is one girl whose face stays in my memory. She was begging for money at a gas statin that we stopped at on our ~12 hour drive. She wore an oversized brown shirt that she used as a dress. She never smiled, not even back at me when I smiled right in her eyes. I felt so helpless. Her arm was outstretched, her hand was cupped, and her eyes were pleading–barely pleading; on the verge of dull, near void– for something I felt I could not provide. “She should be able to smile,” I thought to myself. “We should be able to smile at each other,” but I understood her to have every reason to not smile back at me.

I believe there must be small (or big!) things we can each do in order to help bring justice and love to the poorest of the poor. (Doesn’t the bible say something about that somewhere….???) Let’s giv’r.

Peace and Love,
Nadya